Author: Ben

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How to Make Resolutions That Stick

It’s a new year and a time when everyone makes a resolution or two that last about a month. A lot of these resolutions have to do with living a healthier life and being more active or eating healthier. With whatever resolution you may have, I’m here to help make it stick and actually achieve it.

Here are 4 things you can do to make sure you tackle your 2020 New Year’s Resolutions:

1. Set Specific GOALS

The reason why a lot of resolutions fail is because they are just resolutions. What we really should do is set year goals. Resolving to “be healthier” in 2020 is too vague and not motivating. Setting a goal to “lose 2 pounds a month for 12 months” is a better way to keep yourself accountable. There are short term progress goals, but year-long end results.

Setting a goal to “be healthier” or “go to the gym more” is easy to quit. If you go to the gym for the month of January, when work is still in holiday mode and everyone is working hard and seemingly motivated at sticking to their resolutions, it seems like there is no stopping you. But when that January kick ends, work or school starts to pick up, it’s easy to drop your vague and goal-less resolution.

The beauty of being specific and creating year long goals means that it’s okay that your progress fluctuates. Using the example above, wanting to lose 2 pounds a month means 24 pounds in the year. So you know that if you only lose 1 pound in February, you know you have to make up that pound in March.

These types of goals keep you accountable and allow you to track your progress with hard numbers.

2. Write Them Down

Every year, I put a note in my phone that lists “Everything I Will Achieve in [insert year]”. Throughout the year, as I complete some of the short term and long term goals, I put a checkmark next to it. It helps me see what I’ve completed and reminds me what I must do and accomplish next. Seeing your goals written down makes them real, tangible, and in-your-face. Maybe print these out or post them up near your bed so you see them every day.

When life gets busy, we often overlook and let go of the things that are important to us from an aspiration standpoint, because we often see these goals as “things we can just get to later”. But, if they are true goals and priorities for you, continuing to remind yourself of them will reenforce their importance and help you keep at them during the whole year.

Even the smallest of steps toward your goals and resolutions are steps in and of themselves. Don’t forget that.

3. Don’t Try to Conquer the World

Keep your goals manageable – don’t set out to lose 10 pounds in 1 week. Set realistic goals that will encourage you. Attainable goals are self-motivating. When you achieve what you set out, you’ll want to continue towards your ultimate year-end goals.

Remember: Slow and steady wins the race.

4. Make them FUN – Throw a Personal/Silly One in There

The goals that you set for 2020 ultimately must be ones you can actually achieve and ones that will be FUN. If you’re not having fun on your way to achieving your goals then you’ll never actually want to complete them. Nothing you do should feel miserable. It may be difficult, but knowing what you want and working hard to get after it, all while doing it in a way that is most fun will keep you going.

Do some with a friend to keep yourself motivated and accountable, so instead of losing 10 pounds yourself or reading 1 book a month yourself, work out or read with a friend who has that same or similar goal. It’ll make it a social and fun activity to do together and will ensure you stick with it.

I also recommend having a silly/strictly fun goal for the new year. Instead of making all of your goals extremely strict and serious, do something for you, too. Set out a goal to make your own Halloween costume from scratch this year, make it a goal to finally watch all of the movies on your “must see” list. While these should not make up your entire list of goals for 2020, they’re easy ones that will be fun and keep you motivated to achieve your other goals.

So good luck and have a happy, healthy and successful 2020.

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Being Positive Versus Being Happy

I find myself getting caught in the habit of using “positivity” and “happiness” in the same context, to mean very similar things. But I’ve quickly realized that these two words don’t mean the same thing, and don’t always necessarily go hand in hand.

There’s a big difference between someone who is positive versus someone who is happy. Someone who is positive always expects the best to come. It takes a lot to beat down the positive person with negativity because with the positive perspective, every situation can be turned into a good one.

However this doesn’t mean that he or she is actually happy. Because positivity is a character trait and an outlook, while happiness is a state of being. It’s easy to be positive and still be generally unhappy with circumstances or situations. The positive person just may not voice them openly and actively. Now in my opinion, a positive person will always be generally happier than the negative, but that doesn’t always have to be the case.

Being happy means that you are feeling or showing content. There are many degrees of happiness, just like there are with positivity, but the happy scale has a much larger range and carries value.

You can be happy but be a negative person just as much you can be unhappy and be an extremely positive person. This is because happiness is circumstantial and situational, being a positive person is something you adopt and is a part of your whole being, happiness is weighed.

I consider myself a happy person, I feel that most aspects of my life I am very happy about. But there are things I am also unhappy about. More so, I consider myself to be a positive person, which has no scale because of the fact that it is an outlook.

You can always be positive, but you can’t always be happy.

And that’s okay.

Because when you’re a positive person, the negatives and unhappiness gets beat down and becomes minuscule compared to your overwhelming positive and happiness for things in your life.

You don’t always have to (and can’t always) be happy, and it’s important to address and recognize your sadness. We feel emotions for very specific reasons. Bottling them up to always put on a facade of happiness will always do you more harm than good. But you can even be positive about your sadness, knowing that things will get better and that happiness surrounds many other aspects of you and your life.

This is the type of mindset and work required to eliminate your sadness.